The Graveyard Shift

Hello everyone, it's me again. I found myself sitting at work with nothing important to do so I figured why not write a little bit. Write about what you ask? I was thinking why not what goes on when I wake up to feed the girls at 3 AM in the morning, I'll give a short playwright in the perspective of myself. Hope you all enjoy

**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**

As the alarm goes off and my mind realizes I literally just laid down 4 hours ago I throw my legs over the side of the bed and let my eyes adjust, at that time I also think it's about time to change my contacts because they no longer feel like contacts yet small pieces of sandpaper. After getting dressed I stumble out to the livingroom where Heather is doing an amazing job with the girls. Bottles are made, babies are slowly starting to stir because it's time for food and here she is a modern day super hero!

We talk for a little as I ask how the girls were, any issues, you now the standard questions you ask when your about to take over the care of 4 little girls. I give her a kiss and a hug as she usually departs for the bedroom if not just grabbing a pillow and laying down on the couch. At that time I usually wander into the kitchen to grab the bottles and make sure everything is good, though I tell myself that's what I am doing I can't help but grab one of those brownies Heather made, or a thing of yogurt real quick because I feel I haven't eaten in ages.

Bottles in hand I make my back into the living room scooping up one of the girls as I find a comfortable spot on the couch, turning on the TV I scan through until something looks good, which usually winds up being SyFy, Disney or Cartoon Network right now. Regardless I find something and begin feeding the girls and wouldn't you know it, it never fails what I was watching goes off and someone opens the floodgates for the infomercials!

OMG! Did you know that for 79.95 I can buy the initial set of the Presidents Quarters! The man literally just told me that I'm really only paying for the awesome cherry oak chest they come in, how can I resist such an offer! I mean then it's only another 50.00 dollars a month for each subsequent set of quarters!

"Channel Change"

Aurora is about finished, I make sure I burp her, change her and lay her back down. Picking up Bristol I begin to hear another sales pitch startup... Though this one yells at me telling me I need to focus on the future and "Buy in Belize", I hear this phrase at least 15 more times in the 15 minutes the commercial is on, it lets me know how great my life and retirement will be if I "Buy in Belize". At this point I am frustrated because I want to know how quickly I could get a real estate agent on the phone and then realize it's only 3:30 in the morning...

"Channel Change"

Finishing up Bristol I find myself back in the kitchen getting the next set of bottles ready and again stealing another brownie..(Might be why I find myself getting a little round around the waist). Bottles in hand I move back into the living room grabbing up another baby and nestle back down into the hole I am creating in the couch cushion. She latches on to the bottle and I begin to zone in on the TV again wondering what is next....

As you can see this pattern continued until around 4:30 when I was finished feeding all the girls, the things I saw and was propositioned to purchase just blows my mind. There are so many weird things out there that people will try and sell you. Flat hoses, a weird hair curler thing, the famous snuggie. I mean the list really goes on and on and on....

Daddy Day Care Tip #3 If you are going to pull the late shift to feed the girls refrain from having your credit card and or a phone near you, when your half asleep god knows what you'll end up buying and not remember until you open the door one day and sign for a package which just so happens to contain the first set of Presidential Quarters!!